Would you be unhappy so a dear friend of yours can be happy?

This is what I am asking myself the whole day now. I recently found out that a friend I hold most dear kissed my crush. Twice.
He never noticed me. Never in two years. And then she comes along, stunning everyone with her character and her looks. So what can I do? Nothing. I’m helpless.
I have to watch how my crush gets tangled by her, dazzled.
It just breaks my heart.
He talks to her, softly when they are alone while I am left behind.
My friend told me the whole thing, I am grateful for her courage because she knew he was my crush since ages. Hasn’t stopped her kissing him though.
I don’t want to sound bitter although I think I am.

So today I finished City of Heavenly Fire.
Just perfect. The whole Simon plot line was very depressing first, but then things developed in the epilogue. Glad for that.

Then he smiled. “I don’t remember everything”, he said. “Not yet. But I remember you.” He brought her hand up, touched the gold ring on her right index finger, the Fair Folk metal warm to the touch. “Clary.”, he said. “You’re Clary. You’re my best friend.”

This literally killed me.
Cassandra is such a genius and I really look forward to the new series she’ll publish. In CoHF we have been introduced to Emma Carstairs who will be the main character in the new book series.
I also enjoyed Tessa and Clarys encountering and the reveal of Clarys surname.

My nocturnal thoughts

I somehow think it is wrong that Marvel glorifies the evil. With that I mean Loki. There are ten thousands of fangirls in the world who completely adore Loki, even though they are perfectly aware of his evil character, and his foulness which grows deep into his very heart. And still they are willing to follow him just because of his physical appearance which they find “hot” and “cute”. These fangirls just close their eyes in front of his genocides, murders and treason. They would follow him blindly without thinking to what this would lead. I know that because I talked to a friend of mine for about an hour about this topic. And the more I became scared. My friend told me to shut up about the fowl character of Loki and she continuously asked me why I wanted to spoil him for her. After a while, I just gave up. Now that I am on my own, thinking about what my friend told me, I just feel very sad and very desperate. Is this were humanity is going? The easy path where no thinking is necessary?
When my mum would tell me about not to admire things without analyzing everything I would become angry and I would tell her to let me think what I wanted to think. But now suddenly, I feel that she’s right. Where will this dull not-thinking lead us? To the next dictatorship? My friend told me that I should not mix fiction with reality and that I am utterly mean for trying to ruin her precious Loki to her.
I am alarmed about some things she said. I just hope she said these mindless phrases to provoke me and not because she meant it. But if I learnt anything about our discussion, it’s that you should always question everything.






Crime version (x)

If you were in Middle-earth version (x)

I am an elf. I go to visit the Rivendell, where I fall deeply in love with Galadriel. But she is secretly in love with Gandalf. (that… actualy makes sense. Huh.) My best friend is Tauriel. (obviously) Bilbo is jealous of me and gossips against you (though I am not sure why…) I agree to marry Bard, but in the end I run away with Bofur. What a plot twist.